A Little Fun With A Lockin' Honky

Lockin' Honky: A person who allows their vehicle to honk every time it's locked.

I was sitting in the parking lot of one of those innumerable food islands that litter our highways, deciding which fast food joint would get my business. I was stopped only 1 minute during which I heard 5 cars honk as their owners locked them. Noise pollution. I'll leave this to a later rant.

A guy parked a mega truck that was built by the same manufacturer as my car. He was a loud knob of a person, with slicked back hair, shiny clothes, and trendy sunglasses resting up on top of his cranial ridge line. Ya know the type: they buy trucks to not use them. They're just small-dick compensators for loud mouths. Well, he got out, yammering away on his cell phone and walked to the fast food emporium's doors. During his walk he locked his auto beast and it HONKED 3 times in reply saying Bye Bye to Daddy.

I decided to have a little fun: when he got to the doors, I honked my horn in exactly the same way. My horn sounded EXACTLY like his! 3 honks: two fast, one slow. Loud Mouth stopped dead, turned around, and looked puzzled. He thought his truck unlocked itself, so he starts back to his auto beast to check things out.

Finding it still locked, he walked back to the doors again, still talking on his cell. With his hand about to open the doors, I honked my horn 3 more times. He stopped, turned around, and pressed his unlock button. Auto Beast answered A-OK BAUSS! I counted to 3 and honked again. He repeated his key press yet again. I counted to 3 and did it once more.

Loud Mouth was thoroughly confused at this point. Finishing his call, he ran back to his truck cursing. Finding nothing wrong he kicked a tire and then returned to Fast Food Heaven. I honked my horn again, but he ignored it and finally went in. My fun was done and I went inside to eat.

Later, while exiting the parking lot, I decided to drive by Loud Mouth's truck. He was eating his food in the cab. As I passed by I honked at him 3 times and waved. The look on his face was priceless!